Dearest Dean Winchester,
I used to be a normal teenage girl with an active social life until I saw you onscreen. In that moment, I made the transition from an average non-crazy person to a supernatural obsessed weirdo. The situation was so bad that I finished fifteen years’ worth of tv within a month. To this date, it is my greatest accomplishment. Also, please don’t mind the tear stains, I just cry a lot when I think about you. You are the poster boy of ‘they deserved better’ trope.
You’ve been gone since a year now and there hasn’t been a moment that I haven’t thought about you. The thought that you are in Jack’s heaven together with Cas is the only thing that brings me comfort. You and Cas deserve to wake up next to each other without thinking about the impending doom. This is what your whole life had been, running from one apocalypse to another without a moment of rest. Weren’t you afraid that one day you’d die on a random hunt and no one would remember you? If only you could look at the legacy you’ve left behind.
The show was supposed to be about the Winchester brothers, Sam and Dean, fighting monsters. But you made it so much more than that. After your mother died and your father was consumed with revenge, you were the only one left to take care of Sammy. You took all the abuse from your father while training to become a hunter. You gave up your own childhood so that Sam could have one. I watched the whole show with my brother and you two brought us closer. Would I make a deal with the demons to save his life? Yes. Would I let him choose the music while driving the car? Absolutely no.
Faithless, broken Dean. The man who thought that he didn’t deserve to be saved and would always be daddy’s blunt instrument. I’m glad you found Cas. Who else would have told you that ‘good things do happen Dean’? I’ve realized that most people feel this way. That if someone saw them the way they see themselves, they wouldn’t choose to stay. I saw you put yourself in danger again and again because you thought it’d be better if you left this way. It broke my heart to see the man who loved so fiercely didn’t think he deserved to be loved back the same way. You and I aren’t so different. I too pushed people away because I was scared to be vulnerable. You wore layers upon layers of flannel and sarcasm as your defense mechanism, so that people wouldn’t bury deep down. Truth is, no matter how many times you saw yourselves as unworthy, your love for others always shone through. You taught me that family never ended in blood and that all the love inside of me would eventually find places to settle itself in. No matter how hard things were, even if it felt like I’d lost everything, there is always a reason worth fighting for. There’s always so much warmth to spread.
I am so proud of the man that you’ve become. I love how you no longer see yourselves as just a killer anymore but rather a person worthy of being loved. You were never perfect. You were never a hero. You had your flaws, but those make you real. You are the best brother, the best hunter, the most loving friend. Dean Winchester, the pie obsessed idiot, you are my saving grace.
I will love you always.
Reva Singh
Comments